Mommyhood

There comes a time in a mom’s life when she must admit she needs help…especially being a first time mom. So…..HELP! I knew having a baby wouldn’t be easy. I remember my brother when he was a baby (there’s almost a 10 year difference between us). I remember telling my OBGYN that Randy and I were going to start trying to increase our family and I remember him asking me if I had family close by. Now I know why. I am very fortunate to have family around that are willing to help, but I just can’t bring myself to ask for help very often. I just don’t want to be away from my baby when he’s sick I guess. He’s trying to get over a viral infection in his lungs and he has acid reflux too. The reflux is more of an issue I think. The infection is actually worse but the reflux is what hurts him. I hate to see him hurting. Not to mention the mess it causes. Not a day goes by that neither of us is wearing formula. And any bottle-feeding mom can agree that formula isn’t the best fragrance to be wearing. Not that it matters much since I seldom leave the house anyway. It’s bad when the highlight of your day is getting a shower. Or the much needed nap. It’s really hard for me to take naps so I’m just exhausted….mentally and physically. I can’t get his routine going because I’m still trying to find ways to help his reflux. Not to mention my lack of enthusiasm when it comes to waking a sleeping baby…especially a sick one. I have just about accepted the fact that my house is not clean and it will probably be a while before it gets cleaned. And I have accepted the fact that it’s not even worth getting out of my PJs anymore. And who needs conversation…..muchless ADULT conversation? A mom’s job is NEVER done and I admire the stay at home moms. And I’m beginning to envy the working mom. Maybe I’m crazy but I wouldn’t have my life any other way. Even if it means sucking up my boredom tears, lounging around in my PJs while tending to a baby with eyes so heavy I can barely open them with each blink. I love my Riley and just as the good book says….This Too Shall Pass.